Falling in love without fear

I believe our intimate relationships are our biggest teachers. We experience the highs, we get confronted, we open up and become vulnerable, we get hurt, we can lose ourselves, we can fall to pieces.

Intimate relationships are demanding, and at the same time indescribably beautiful.

They challenge us and if someone want’s to experience the highest forms of love, he also has to be able face and make peace with his darkest shadows.

A relationship is a rollercoaster of the inner world. One that can seem scary.

And because it’s scary, it’s easy to run away from it.

I was running. For years.

Afraid of being hurt, I shut down whenever something got too close. Afraid of falling in love. Afraid of love itself.

Without realising that by shutting down, by playing the game, I created what I was trying to avoid – I hurt myself.

(I found a beautiful metaphor in “the modern warrior”: You can read the story here.)

This video describes how, I believe, instead of holding back and playing games – in order not to be hurt – we can open our hearts and love more.

Fall in love more. Let yourself be wounded. Let your expecations be broken. Don’t fear the battle and don’t try to fight against what you don’t want – but choose love instead.

Because at one point I realise that nobody can hurt me. I’m the only one who can do that.

And I can fall in love without fear.


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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.