27. June 2016 Sam Ryter

Insecurities while having Sex (13min Video)

Before we jump into it, you might have noticed that the video is linked to the ‘orgasm academy’.

The orgasm academy is a product I’ve developed the last year. I feel there is a lot of stuff to talk about and to educate about sex and having deep experiences together.

I believe, right now, in society, there is too little clarification and too much stress and confusion. Nobody really wants to talk about it. Everyone is interested…

Originally, I’ve created it for men who like to find out on how to give incredible experiences to women while having sex. But I’ve got amazing feedbacks from women and I’m thinking about to come out soon with the Academy 2.0 ;)

Anyways, also for women, I believe, it’s a pretty amazing and eye opening program. Links to check it out are below.

Second, I’d like to thank Menprovement for taking this Orgasm Academy into her program. I’m really proud to be a part of this amazing resource. Menprovement currently shares the most valuable content for millions of men all around the world.

If you’re interested in checking out the products of the menprovement products, you can find them here: www.menprovementacademy.com

With that being said, I like to dive into it with you.

Insecurities while having sex

It’s an issue I faced many times in my life so far. Especially when meeting someone that is ‘new’ to us. We try to keep up the mask. The mask of being perfect.

We are afraid of making a mistake.

These insecurities often come from an expectation within us to fit into a certain picture. A certain role.

We try so hard to not ‘fail’ that we miss the most essential part. We miss the process.

We grow up in a society that gives us a certain picture of being ‘a great lover’. It’s subtle. Nobody really consciously teaches it. They don’t in school. And parents don’t do either.

Because they don’t know.

Because of that, media takes in the teacher role.

Action movies, porn, magazines, but even stories from bragging friends obscure the idea of being great lovers.

This, over years, creates a huge pressure.

A pressure that soaks out the trust in ourselves. The trust in our own masculinity/femininity. It slowly takes away the faith in being a real man or a real woman.

A pressure that leads to awful sex. A pressure that affects whole generations. A pressure that destroys relationships, confidence and faith.

It makes people ‘stuck’ in their heads while having sex. This is what’s happening now.

We all looking for sex, and when we have it, we can’t enjoy it. We don’t allow us to be here. The only thing we think about is how to perform.

But what’s really important?

Everytime you think about an outcome while having sex, you miss something essential. You miss being a great lover.

It’s normal and it’s okay to have flaws

In my work as a coach I often encounter similar situations. Especially high-achieving people have such high standards of themselves, that they ‘break’ on their own expectations.

When we break it down to sex, we face the same story.

Sex is not about expectations. Sex is about the now. Like any other thing in the world.

Can you allow yourself to be weak sometimes? Can you allow yourself not to be the illusive guy from porn? Can you allow yourself to be human?

People feel when someone is not present. Like you do. If consciously or subconsciously, it doesn’t really matter. It’s about an inner sense of trusting each other.

As you want to have deep, fulfilling sex, you’ve got to put away the mask. The mask of being someone your not.

As you want to have deep, fulfilling sex, you’ve got to allow yourself to be human.

That’s ultimately strenght. And that’s where people connect. That’s where the layers disappear, that’s where the essence of you can meet the other part.

Feeling more, not less…

Here we touch already a topic that goes into ‘lasting longer’. I made experiences by myself in order to be ‘the best lover I can’. I tried to numb myself out. ‘Thinking about something else’. In order to fit into the pornstar picture. I thought it will help me to last longer…

I made the biggest mistake. I missed the process. I was so focussed on myself, that I forgot about the beautiful woman in front of me. (sorry for that :) )

So, I’ve made this huge realisation.

Sex is about feeling more. Sex is about letting go. Sex is about feeling safe.

If you don’t feel safe, if you’re thinking about performance and outcome in order to impress her (and yourself), in order to proof something – you’re not there yet. Take yourself more time.

It sounds so simple and really, it is.


Trust yourself. Allow yourself to be weak. Open up. Connect.

That’s where you become ultimately powerful.

Be the one who does it better

You can start now. And with that, you can already change lives.

So many people do not know. So many people do ‘stupid’ things, because they try so hard. What they create is pain and frustration.

There are millions of women (and men) out there with bad experiences because of partners who didn’t know what, and how its done.

You don’t have to be one of them. Please don’t. You can be the one who makes the difference. You can be the one who gives back the trust again.

No masks, no games. Just real human connections. From moment to moment. Joy. Tantra.

That’s where the magic happens.

Any Questions?

Probably a bit all over the place this article :) I might have to review it. I’ve just inserted it from the Orgasm Academy site. If you like to learn more about this Academy, you can visit: www.orgasmacademy.com there you will get introduced to everything you need to know.

You can drop them now in the comments all the way down of the page!

Or contact me here on sam@samryter.com and I’m happy to answer your questions as soon as possible.

Donwload the mp3

You can also download the mp3 of this video, and listen to that one. If you’re interested in that, you can do this here:

Download MP3

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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.

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