28. June 2017 Sam Ryter

Your struggles happen for you, not to you! Wayne Dyers way of looking at life (5min read)

Struggles happen for you and what life brings to you is a gift for you to grow.

What if all struggles we ever encounter are gifts for us?

Yesterday night, I was lying in my bed and reading Wayne Dyer’s book “Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling”. I stumbled over a section in this book that stayed with me and I felt inspired to write about it. 

Dr. Dyers story is fascinating. He lost his family and grew up in foster homes, after his adoption he experienced abandonment by his new ‘dad’. All in all – he didn’t have an easy path.

But the way Wayne Dyer looks at his path is inspiring. In the position the ‘victim’ it’s easy to blame others but he seemed to realise at one point, that this doesn’t take him any further. In this little story below, he shares his conversation with ‘god’.

If that conversation ever happened is not really of matter. What I believe matters, is the way he looks at life and his circumstances. It’s a way, I believe, we all can learn from.

A way that makes it easy for us to move from blame into compassion.

And in compassion lies forgiveness. And in forgiveness lies freedom.

“As I readied myself to make the shift from an exclusively spiritual being into the world of particles in 1939, I had the following conversation with the Creative Intelligence I’ll call God.

God: What would you like to accomplish on this journey you’re about to undertake?

Me: I’d like to teach self-reliance, compassion, and forgiveness.

God: Are you certain this is what you wish to dedicate this lifetime to?

Me: Yes. I can see the need even more clearly now.

God: Well, then, I think we’d better put your little ass into a series of foster homes and have you stay there for a decade or so, where you’ll learn to experience relying upon yourself. And we’ll remove your parents so that you won’t be dissuaded from your mission.

Me: I accept that. But what about my parents? Who will best facilitate my life’s purpose?

God: You can select Melvin Lyle Dyer as your father. A prisoner, an alcoholic, and a thief, he’ll abandon you as a baby and never show up in your life. You’ll first practice hating him and seeking revenge, but you’ll ultimately forgive him, long after he’s left his body. This act of forgiveness will be the single-most important event of your life. It will put you on the path that you’re signing up for.

Me: And my mother?

God: Take Hazel Dyer, Lyle’s wife. Her compassion for all of her children will give you an example to follow. She’ll steadfastly work herself to the bone to reunite you and your brothers after ten years or so of her own suffering.

Me: Isn’t it an awfully cruel fate for my father?

God: Not at all. He signed up for this 25 years ago. He dedicated this entire lifetime to teach one of his children the lesson of forgiveness—a noble gesture, wouldn’t you say? And your mother is here to show you how true compassion shows up every day. Now get down there and participate in becoming a particle.

In the Introduction of my book You’ll See It When You Believe It, I wrote about finding my father and visiting his grave in the early 1970s. The facts that led me there defy the laws of logic—and visiting it was the final hurdle I needed to overcome before initiating my writing and speaking career, or the mission I’d signed up for back in 1939.

My calling is deep within me and has a hold on me. Like Arthur Miller, I don’t know what I’m going to do next, but I’m probably being guided by what Spirit and I decided at the inception of this journey. One thing I know for certain is that I’m inspired! I’ve described my personal insight about my calling to encourage all of you to examine your own life—including all of its travails and success—as a necessary experience in order to fulfill your mission. Looking at life from this perspective nurtures the deep yearning within that will beckon you back to Spirit.”

Dyer, Wayne. Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling (S.20-22). Hay House. 

These lines deeply resonate with me. If they are true is what I don’t know. They are true for me.

I like to believe that life happens for us and not to us. And as I believe – it is.

What it effects, is the way we show up. It’s the way we respond, the way we learn and evolve as human beings.

There’s growth in everything.

Or how Richard Bach would put it:

There’s no such thing as a problem without a gift for you.

And suddenly we look differently at ‘problems’. We look differently at challenges. We start to embrace the struggle.

We let go of the things we can’t control anyways. And as we learn to trust, we can focus on what deeply matters to us.

That’s, what I believe, a place of fulfillment. A place of contentment, of peace. In that space, I see people creating the extraordinary.

Because life is not only a gift. You’re also a gift to life.

How does your life teach you at the moment…?

As one zooms out from the ‘little me’, or the ‘victim’ into a ‘higher place’ and see the bigger picture of the puzzle, he starts to become a student of life. He starts to grow, to evolve and find the beauty in everything that is.

Life offers us many lessons. And we can choose to be open and to learn, or to reject them.

What is the lesson that YOU have to learn from life at the moment?

Post it below in the comments.


Photo by Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash

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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.