What should I do with my life? It seems that we have more possibilities available than ever, but trough that, especially the task of finding the right thing becomes even harder. This guide will help you to get a sense of clarity to find what you’d love to do.
Confused by the possibilities
I remember leaving the gates of the barracks after I finished my national service for the Swiss army. I had been a part of an organized system. Everything was structured and ruled by someone else. Leaving this organisation was a liberating moment to me. I felt that the world is waiting for me. I appreciated the beauty of finally doing what I wanted to do. I felt free.
But with freedom comes responsibility.
For over 2 years I struggled to find a sense of purpose in my life. There were just so many possibilities. “I like many things”, “Why do I have to decide?”
And then I ‘found’ it and what I realized went totally against my expectations. If I knew those things before, it would have been a lot easier to me.
A sense of meaning is created only in our heads
For so long I was seeking for the ‘right’ thing in my life. But I realised that what I do, doesn’t really matter at all.
Finding a purpose is such an elusive thing. Everyone talks about it; nobody really knows what it is.
I found that I can be happy in doing many things. And before we chase something it’s better to ask the question first: What’s life all about?
To me, it’s about being happy, and being happy is an inner state, it comes from the inside out. The same as love, kindness, connection etc. Thinking that once we have achieved something we will feel happy, is not really true.
I can tell you, even though I don’t have a boss, and even though I live a life, most people would admire me for, I still have inner conflicts going on.
Having a sense of purpose is never really about what we do, but the meaning we give to it.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if I’m a coach or if I flip burgers. I once had a job to clean the streets of a little village. I felt incredibly happy.
But we all have the choice. And coaching people is to me, something that very interests and excites me. I choose it, because it’s fun and I learn a lot about myself.
It’s important to understand that we always have a choice, how we think and what we do. And in order to help you to make those choices I’d like to share with you some questions that helped me on my journey.
If you go on http://www.samuelryter.com/free I will be sharing with you workbooks, where you can directly reflect those questions on your life. I recommend you to take yourself 20min and finish the workbook, even if you already feel that you are on the right path, it can give you much more clarity on your journey.
1. What would you Love to do?
As you want something, you can make it happen. Now, most of us are not really clear on what we want. We are so conditioned to follow a certain career or life structure that we don’t really dare to dream about what we truly want.
But as we are aware of what we want, we already have a direction. This goal, or this vision, doesn’t have to be crystal clear yet. Most likely it will change and evolve by time, but it’s important to have a direction.
Your vision can include such things as financial freedom, deep relationships, having a great body. Or simply wanting to be happy, this doesn’t really matter. But clarity is power.
It’s about you figuring out what you would love to do. Once we have the clarity, the direction, we also find the tools and ways to make it happen. This is the step from the ‘victim’ into the creator mode. I will give you a deeper framework on how you need to think and the steps you need to do to make those dreams a reality.
I highly encourage you to download the workbook that will list all the questions that will help you to get clear (you can download it via http://www.samuelryter.com/free). Turning on some inspirational music also helps as it keeps your consciousness on your heart instead of your head.
This exercise could give your life a complete new direction. While answering those questions you could find a completely new sense of being. You might question your old believes, your ‘old’ life.
I personally made it to my own routine to repeat those questions every morning so that I make sure that my actions stay in align with my path.
Finding what you love
- What would you love to create in your life? What would be the ultimate outcome that would make you feel incredibly happy and fulfilled. How does it look like, how do you feel, where are you?
- Why do you want this? What would it give you? What would that mean for you?
Excellent, now let’s get a bit more into the details. I picked this technique up from Tony Robbins around 6 years ago, and it helped me to create so many things because it kept me focussed on the tasks that matter to me.
- What is the ultimate outcome 6 months from now? What could you possibly create?
- What is the ultimate outcome 1 month from now:
- What is your ultimate outcome 1 week from now?
- What is the ultimate outcome today that brings you closer to your dream?
2. See the World Differently
Feel free to dream big. Everything is possible. The reason why we often don’t believe in ourselves is that we grow up with old and outdated belief patterns. Usually we pick them up from our parents, and they picked them up from their parents. We install beliefs that we are not good enough, and that not everything is possible.
For example: The belief that you have to work hard for the money. Where did that come from? The interesting thing: As we belief in those rules, they are very likely to become real.
So it’s up to us to change those beliefs because that’s what will change your world.
Feel free to just choose something you love, the fact that you will have to do exactly this for your whole life is also a rule that is completely untrue. I have been a martial artist 5 years ago, and I didn’t end up as a life-long professional, but the things I’ve learned following my dream are stories and teachings that will help me my whole life.
See the real possibilities
To see the real possibilities we need to look differently at the world and detach for a moment from our old beliefs and thoughts. We literally need to see the world as a neutral space and playground.
From that place, try to answer the following questions:
- What could help me to get closer to where I want to be?
- What tools and opportunities do I have?
- Who could help me to get there?
3. Taking action
Having a direction of where you want to go is already amazing. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to taking strategic action.
Now, often this is a step out of the comfort zone. Some fears might be involved. But that’s okay.
People usually don’t take action because they are afraid of judgement. Or they start, and if it doesn’t work after the first try, they quit.
It’s very likely that you will make mistakes, but that’s totally fine. The goal is not to achieve all you wish overnight but to start.
In fact, often people have a weird, disempowering definition of success.
They think success is when they ‘are there’.
But how about defining success with taking action now?
My day is successful if I made a step closer to where I want to go. Success is following my heart. Success is taking responsibility for my life and myself.
That’s the mentality to have. Because honestly… Why are we doing all this? What is life without enjoying the journey?
Success is not a destination; it’s you doing what you love. It’s you focussing on what you can do now.
Create an Action Based Plan
(you will find the prepared blanks in the worksheet) and ask yourself the following questions:
- What can I do every day to get closer to my vision?
- What can I do every week to get closer to my vision?
- What can I do, if I have limiting beliefs coming up that hold me back from going for what I love?
I’ve seen it all the times, over and over again. Even if it doesn’t seem like it’s going to work. There will always be a way. In whatever you do.
It doesn’t really matter what you do. It’s always the meaning we give to things, that make it either a pain or an act of joy.
The biggest thing is that we don’t have to choose something now and commit to it forever. But we all have the freedom to pick something that excites us, something that sparks a sense of meaning within us.
The biggest mistake is that people don’t take any action, usually because they are afraid. But if it’s something you’d love to do, then I believe everyone deserves to have the freedom to go for it. Have faith in that you will learn anyways. That you don’t need to proof, that you can’t lose. Have trust. Take action with joy. Make it a game, and love what you do.
Questions, insights and your own stories?!
Please share your thoughts on this article. What are your challenges? What did you learn along your journey? Leave it in the comment area. I look forward to read your insights!
More resources for you to download
Get more resources to download including Videos, Worksheets and Audio recordings here: http://www.samuelryter.com/free
Was this helpful to you!
If you find this article helpful, please share it with your friends, it helps me tremendously to spread the word and keep producing ad-free, high quality content. Thank you and I’m incredibly grateful to have you here!