27. July 2017 Sam Ryter

The Abusive Husband (1min read)

A husband is beating up his wife.

She didn’t do what he expected her to do.

If we look at the man’s action from the outside, we can only see violence, but if we have a closer look to that man’s internal world, we can find, that his behaviour is simply an act of insecurity.

There’s a hurt and weak little boy within that is searching for a way to restore his self-worth.

Now this is just a simple example, but it clearly shows that this man is runned by his own shadow without being aware of it.

Instead of looking within and experiencing what this ‘boy within’ really needs (starting to get to know his shadow), he moves into blaming and fighting the outside.

In this case: His wife.

This is an act of ignorance. He shifts the responsibility to another person.

Now my question: Will he suffer again when a similar event will happen?


Because the wife can change, his surroundings can change, but he will act and react in a similar fashion until he faces his shadows and looks within.

Where can you run to hide from yourself?


I like to take this story as an example. It’s a sad one, but it’s one that shall open our eyes. One that shall help us to look within. To face our own shadows. That’s ALL we can control.
People suffer, by trying to control what is not in their control at all. Trying to change the ‘outside’ world. Trying to force an outcome. Trying to get something.
…And suffering is always a choice.
The question is: Are we having the courage to look within?

Share this article and read: Shadow Work – A Guide For Self-Discovery

Photo by Isai Ramos on Unsplash

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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.