How my beliefs about others affect the way I feel (7min read)

In this article I want to share how the beliefs about others mentally disconnect us – from others, from ourselves and from the world. I share with you how you can change these beliefs, to love more, to live more freely.

The way we see the world, the way we see strangers, the way we see others. Beautiful women, strong men, stupid, intellectual, fun, boring people, all these perceptions affect the way we feel. They affect our emotions. Often we are not even aware of it. We blame others… Even though it all happens within ourselves.

You create your emotions

It’s fascinating. Think about someone you really love. Just the thought already creates a nice, warm feeling within us. It empowers us.

On the other hand, thinking about someone we dislike, someone who’s mean, who doesn’t respect us. We tense up. We bite our tongues, we internally close down. – It’s an exhausting feeling. A tiring feeling.

And just thought created it.

This all happens within yourself. We often think it’s the others. But just in this moment, you’ve created 2 complete different feelings just with thought alone.

It’s not the actual person or the action that makes us feel good or bad, but the meaning we give to it.

Trying to control the emotions

People feel the other way round. It’s common but a simple misperception of what happens to us. We believe that our emotions are the cause.

And that from there, our beliefs and thoughts arise.

So we constantly try to control our feelings. Something we can’t control.  Not in the actual moment

While coaching now over a hundret clients and observing myself more and more, I see the same patterns over and over again. We judge ourselves of feeling a certain way. And we try to fight against the feeling.

It makes it bigger.

But an emotion is just an emotion. We can’t manipulate it. We just can supress it, ignore it – that lets us lose ourselves – or we can accept it an sit in it.

Your beliefs create your feelings

But let’s have a look at the core, and this literally changed my life.

I didn’t find a way or technique to supress my feelings in a better way. Neither do I ignore them and fake them ’til I make it.

What is really lasting is when you change your beliefs. Your beliefs about others. Your beliefs about yourself. Your beliefs about the world.

Again, it’s the meaning we give to things, that create our feelings. At the end of the day you decide in what world you live in.

Do you live in a world full of enemies, where everyone is against you. Or do you decide to live in a world full of friends?

Judging strangers and other human beings

See, it really starts with the perception we have towards others.

Marianne Williamson sais it in such a pure way: “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learn.”

We are afraid to express ourselves, we are afraid to connect to others, afraid of saying what’s on our mind, of fucking it up, of making a mistake, of not being enough, of being seen as a loser.


We live in a world full of fear. And there are countless beliefs within us, that create a world of fear for us.

I like to call out the fear I”ve had writing this article. Since I started writing, I felt an inner resistance. There was this urge to bring out this message, but at the same time, I felt this fear of not being at my best. Of delivering content that is “not enough”.

“Ah, today I’m not in flow” – I’m grateful to have spotted that. Because it helped me to work with it. I became aware. And it set me free. Because I know: It’s just another story. Another believe that creates an emotion that doesn’t serve me at all.

Share your gifts – be you!

How do we see others? Now the powerful part.

Seeing others as “enemies” (I wanna be radical in this one) is a believe that doesn’t serve us at all. Not us and not others. What happens? We tense up, we become afraid, anxious, we worry, we lose the moment, we lose trust, we lose ourselves.

A thought that created a believe that created an emotion and that holds you back from shining.

Thoughts just come and go, they can empower us to greatness and they can limit us dramatically. But at the end of the day: They’re just thoughts.

Now, that sounds so simple, but a big part of my coaching is pointing out these limiting thought patterns. One of the most common ones, because the ego is afraid of what it doesn’t know: People are mean.

That creates a huge disconnection. That limits us to be ourselves. We are afraid of being judged, of being rejected and being hurt.

While in fact we judge ourselves, we reject ourselves, we hurt ourselves.

What is your believe about others?

I encourage you to spot out your internal believe about other people.

I encourage you to see the beauty first before you put them in a box.

That can change your life. A shift in perception will create a complete different world. A complete different you.

It’s tiring to live in a world with these beliefs. Having these negative emotions, and supressing them, over and over again. It makes you sick.

Wha are your beliefs about others. I decided to see the beauty. I decided to see that everyone just wants to be happy. I decided to see the human behind the mask. I decide to give love unconditionally whoever it is. I decide to share my gifts.

My beliefs changed, my emotions changed, my life changed.

I don’t have to blast through my fears anymore, not avoiding myself anymore. It made me so unhappy.

I can just acknowledge and change my believe. You can do it to.

The next level: Heart opening

Now we’re stepping up to the next level. This is such a powerful journey. It’s one that can even give you magic moments, fulfillment, and contentment. Even glimpses of enlightenment.

I fell in love with a girl. I believe she is special. Is she really that special? Well, for me she is. Because I believe so.

Through that, my heart opens up and I even feel more love. True love. Unconditional love (in case you’re interested, you can read more about this huge topic of love here: What love really is)

I decided to transform that love I have to her, to everyone.

Can you see everyone as special?

This is my challenge to you.

Can you see everyone as special? Yourself included.

Imagine how amazing this life would be.

You create your feelings. And you can choose.

By changing the perception and seeing everyone as special, as amazing, as beautiful – will take away your fear.

It will set you free to be your true self. No more inner conflicts because you don’t deserve them.

What you deserve is to shine! You deserve to love yourself and others. You deserve to follow your dreams, to live passionate, to be free and not letting yourself dictating by limiting beliefs. You deserve to live by your true values. You deserve to rise, to accept yourself, to see your beauty. You deserve to share this gift with others.

How to change your beliefs about others

It really starts with the little things. I like to call it “constant-training-of-becoming-aware-of-how-we-feel”.

Feel more. Because your feelings are your best teacher.

Having a feeling of seperation and you don’t supress it but you become aware of it – that shows you already a lot about your beliefs to that particular situation.

You are your own and best teacher.

Watch the video, if you like to dive a bit deeper into it.

On what stage are you?

Where do you see yourself in this ‘process’?

What comes up for you and where do you see your challenge in applying this?

Leave it in the comments. And I’m here to discuss, to support and I’m keen to see your perspective.

I’m looking forward.


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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.

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