25. October 2016 Sam Ryter

The 3 Basic Steps to have Great Relationships with Anyone (6min read)

To have great relationships and to experience deep connections with others is fundamental to live a fulfilled life. Humans are social animals, yet in our society most of us have forgotten what it takes to have fulfilling relationships. Mastering this area in your life is not only a nice to have, it is a must. Here are the 3 steps that will change the way you interact with others, show up and see the world.

Have great Relationships is a mistery

In the past I struggled a lot in connecting with others. My goal was always to have great relationships and deep connections, but by trying so hard to make it happen, I failed.

I personally experienced many painful moments, where I tried to connect with others but I just couldn’t. I was just not present. It seemed, the more I tried, the harder it was for me.

But those experiences gave me incredible lessons in terms of relationships. They unconsciously changed my life, and I realised that there is no ‘technique’ to experiencing deep, fulfilling relationships with others. In the last months I came to break them down into 3 principles and I’m happy to share them with you.

After reading this article I highly recommend you to fill out the worksheets and watch the exlusive videos to this topic, you can access it for free here: http://www.samuelryter.com/free

Step 1 to have great relationships: Question Your Perception Towards Others

While we grow up, we get conditioned to see other human beings as ‘strangers’. They are different than us. A stranger is someone not to be trusted, someone that can hurt us. That’s how we separate ourselves from other human beings.

As you were a child, you didn’t give those labels to others. Everyone was a friend in the first place. There was no judgement, only excitement.

Separation empowers loneliness and depression. We feel misunderstood and it’s not uncommon in our society.

By changing the perspective on how you see others, on becoming aware on the labels you give to people, you can change your own reality.

At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be happy. That applies to you, and to your boss, to your family members, to people you don’t know. Every human being just wants to love and be loved. Period.

Understanding that, we find that there are no ‘evil’ people but only confused people. This lets us become more compassionate towards others and be more understanding and better social human beings.

Eventually it’s our perception that lets us live in a world full of friends or full of enemies. To be afraid, and feel separated to others, or to feel connected and love towards others. It’s your decision.

Step 1 to have great relationships: Change your perception of others - Quote - Sam Ryter

Our perception of others changes our world and the way we show up.

Step 2 to have great relationships: Give Unconditionally

Anne Frank once said “Nobody has ever become poor by giving.” As we give, we can’t lose anymore. Now giving unconditionally is a skill that needs to be developed again, because usually the environment we grow up has completely different values.

In a world of ‘progress’ everyone looks for himself. And this is another major reason why people feel separated from each other. It’s the fear of losing something.

The most successful people in the world are very aware of the law of giving. Tony Robbins, Elliot Hulse, Brendon Burchard, Richard Branson, the Dalai Lama… the list of those people really is endless… They are all aware that unconditional giving is key to success and to fulfilment.

Giving something to someone, without expecting anything back is a liberating and human act. Solely the act gives us something back, we can’t cover in words.

Learning to give unconditionally takes away the fear of ‘losing’ something. Because there is nothing to lose.

It literally raises your vibration, so that people are naturally attracted to you.

This is already a success. And it doesn’t even have to be billions of dollars we give away, like Bill Gates does it annually. But a simple smile can already make this world a better place. As we all start small, we find the joy in giving unconditionally.

We find how freeing it is. And it connects us immediately to the world. We have nothing to lose anymore but only to give. Separation dissolves.

Learn give unconditionally to have great relationships

Giving unconditionally is being detached from what you can’t control.

Step 3 to have great Relationships: Start to Speak your Truth

We have mainly 2 fears that control our lives: The fear of not being loved, and the fear of not being enough.

Those fears are often located in our subconscious and we are not aware of them. Still they affect the quality of our lives.

People rather try to impress each other, than actually staying true to themselves and express their true nature.

It’s a competition world that sets us into a prison. We are constantly trying to pretend to be alright, better, confident etc.

People living with a mask, because they are afraid of being themselves. (Read more on how to take off your mask here)

But there’s a lack of trust in their true nature. And it is incredibly exhausting to take on this mask and play a certain role in order to be enough to others. A reason why people are stuck in their heads, they are busy to think about how they should act instead of enjoying the moment.

Owning Your Flaws

We are all human beings, with flaws and mistakes, but that’s what makes us beautiful. The ones who people can most connect to, are the ones who own their flaws.

Being perfect is not the goal. To be free and fulfilled is to own who you truly are.

That’s a state of flow and then we are at our best. When we drop the curtains and just express ourselves naturally. That’s when we are most lovable, free and fulfilled.

To deeply connect with others and to have fulfilled relationships, it’s key for you to break those walls between you and another person. Because only then human beings can truly connect and meet.

As we can take away the layers of fear, we can connect
deeply with each other.

To have great relationships it's important that you speak your truth.

Staying true to yourself, will attract the right people into your lif.

In conclusion

There is no blueprint to have great relationships. But I’ve found it over and over again:

Whenever I wanted to stick with a ‘code’ I found myself being stuck in my head, overthinking the situation, being afraid of myself. Through that I missed the whole beauty of the moment.

Your presence is the biggest gift you can give to someone.

This framework is not something you should hold on to. But rather something it should give you a better understanding of what we truly want, how our minds work, and what it takes to have great relationships – with anyone.

Questions and Insights

Which step was most helpful to you? Please let me know in the comment. I really appreciate your engagement.

[Video] The 3 Basic Steps to have Great Relationships with Anyone

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Sam Ryter

Sam Ryter is an author and professional coach. He helps people to create deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, the world and themselves.

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